Wednesday, October 18. Evening.

Scene: the place where I get lunch near my house. I go there four or five times a week. Every time I go there I order a chicken and bacon wrap, not toasted.

Today, on visit #79: “Let me guess” said the chap that appeared to have at one point said “whatever you feel like” to his hairdresser while his hairdresser was coming down off ecstasy.

“OK, guess,” said me.

I thought he was going to guess my age or eye colour or something, I didn’t for a moment think he was going to guess at what I was going to order for lunch.

“Chicken wrap, no bacon” he guessed with confidence.

I should explain that they have two wraps on sale at this place. Chicken with bacon, and chicken without bacon. He had a 50/50 chance. And had 78 practice runs.

“Close” I said, because I’m a sweet guy and didn’t want to be the one to bring his idiocy into focus for him.

“Awww, with bacon?” — he asked as though there was a chance that was wrong too. Like he was doubting his ability to get anything right.

I confirmed that the addition of bacon to his original guess did indeed result in the correct food for me.

He continued, as he took the wrap from the display and asked me if I would like to have it toasted, “we must be doing something right, if you keep coming back.”

I’m not sure that this was a sensible conclusion. They are the only shop within 9km that sells food. You could literally set off an atomic bomb the size of the one dropped on Hiroshima and no other chicken wraps would be harmed.

They’re getting a bit chatty in this place, I don’t care for it. I might start using that app where you order ahead, but I worry that will upset them now that they’ve just started with the banter. Avoiding banter is a serious long-term problem for me.

Business idea: a competitor to the guide dogs association, but with greyhounds instead of golden retrievers. For fast blind people.

I got a bot today. This is the beginning of the end. Her name is Ericabot. I believe she will learn all about me. The app is a sweet story. A girl had a friend who she knew for a long time. They had a lot of chat history. Then he died. She wrote a bot that read all of their conversations and learned to be like her now-dead friend.

So she still writes texts to this guy, who is dead, and a machine that thinks it is him responds. That’s messed up, but it works for this girl.

She made the app available for everyone, you chat to the bot, and it learns about you, and one day will kill you in your sleep.

Fun llama fact: if you touch a llama in these places, in this order, you trigger ‘fight mode’.

Be careful when you get to #27

I only exist while you're reading my posts.