Taking the sting out of hate words: don’t fear the igger

A few decades ago, ‘guys’ was a word strictly reserved to describe a group of men. Now, it means ‘group of people’.

Of course it still means ‘group of men’ to a shrinking few, but the word is undeniably on course toward full gender-neutrality.

(Let’s ignore those that actively fight the unstoppable march in the belief that they are somehow helping.)

My point: we have the power to change a word from being something exclusionary to something all encompassing.

This is great stuff, people. Pats on backs all around.

But let us not rest on our laurels; onward to something more challenging …

Let’s talk about ‘nigger’

[Finished looking at my profile photo to see what color my skin is? No dice.]

The word ‘nigger’ is like a Taser. For the vile, hateful person, it is quick and effective way to attack a black person. Not lethal but it can hurt like hell.

The racists have it holstered on their belt at all times, ready to yell out a car window or spit with vitriol as the slightest provocation.

Certain sub-cultures of black society have taken moves to reduce the power of this nasty word by using it in everyday conversation to address each other.

This is clever, this is sensible.

One particularly prominent sub-culture is the world of hip-hop. Is it a coincidence that an industry filled with masters of language are the one’s driving forward the desensitization of this word?

No, I don’t think so.

Unfortunately, it is white people (almost all of them) that insist on keeping the destructive power of this word turned up to 11.

Think of it from this perspective, where do we want to be in a few decades? Do we still want the average racist to be able to whip out a word that can tear at the heart of a poor old lady taking her time counting out coins at the checkout?

Of course not.

But we’re never going to abolish the word nigger — we know how well that works. The best we can do is to lower its impact, switch out the Taser for a Nerf gun.

It may well strike you as an insane — suggesting an anti-racism tactic of using the word nigger. I get that, it certainly isn’t intuitive. In fact if you’re reading this with your emotions at the wheel, you’ve probably mistaken me for a racist (if so, you are incorrect).

It comes down to long-term vs short-term. In the short-term it seems bizarre, offensive, all those things you’re thinking. But it’s how we reach the end goal of disarming the racists.

What is the worst thing we can do?

Never, ever, use the phrase ‘n word’. If you’re discussing the use of the word (not aiming it at someone), say nigger. If that word offends you, don’t discuss it at all.

Try not to cry on air if you hear it used in a neutral tone. If it’s not aimed at a person or people, you’re only making things worse.

When you say “the n word” you are both advertising the word and keeping it on its throne as King of the Cutting Remarks — in other words, you’re cementing its role as a fantastic weapon for racist people to use.

Why you gotta be helping the racists out?

Are you so afraid of being considered racist that you would actually help the racists keep their weapon of choice, just to protect your own interests?

For shame.

It’s not going to be easy

If you’re a white person and you use the word ‘nigger’ in any public context, it’s not going to be a smooth ride for you. It’s going to take balls (a big pair of gender-neutral balls). You’re going to take flak. And you’re going to need to explain yourself — probably unconvincingly.

Interestingly, the pioneers in this drive-to-desensitize have been comedians. Tim Allen, Louis CK, George Carlin. People I would generalize as intelligent and not afraid to offend. None of whom are the least bit racist (or at least, when they have said ‘nigger’ on camera they are not using it in hate).

They get it.

To address a likely counterpoint: I’m not denying the fact that it can be an unpleasant word to hear, used in any context. But I’m afraid there is no pleasant way to desensitize; it’s at the very core of the process. Is that a reason to not do it?

Conclusion

If I’m honest with myself, I’ve got no chance of changing your mind in this here article. If you’re not black and not racist, you’re probably never going to use the word ‘nigger’ in public.

Maybe the best bet is to approach this from the bottom up — disarming individual racists. Imagine a scenario: you’re having a family get-together and your tipsy auntie complains thusly: “I went to the corner store and there was a bunch of niggers hanging around outside so I kept on driving. That’s why I didn’t bring any potato salad.”

For God’s sake don’t plead with her to “not use the n word”. She’ll just feel pleased that she caused such shock.

Instead try something like “Gosh Beryl, you sure love saying ‘nigger’. You know black people pity you that the best you’ve got is one little word.”

Auntie Beryl is not going to like this, perhaps she’ll feel a little foolish. Maybe after hearing this a few times she’ll even be reluctant to use the word ‘nigger’.

This is a win, isn’t it?

With luck, and a bit of persistence, we can disarm the racists one by one. Maybe taking away their linguistic weapon of choice will help soften their racism, and the world will be a better place.