It turns out that being proud (not the rainbow type, just regular pride) is fraught with danger. So here’s some advice: if you feel pride for something, and you like the way that feels, and want to share that with someone, you must think first…

  • Do you know this person well? If it’s someone you’ve just met, do not tell them anything you are proud of. You’ll sound like a jerk. In fact, start with the opposite. When I meet someone new, I like to work into the conversation that I’m shit at table tennis.
  • Is this person mad at you? Dear lord do not share any sort of pride with someone that you are apparently in the process of pissing off (who knew you could be thoughtless without even thinking about it). Sharing pride is like passing a tray of apples between two boats, calm waters are required. (yes only this one is specifically aimed at YOU.)
  • Would you give a fuck if the person told you about something they were proud of? If you couldn’t give two hoots if this person showed you a photo of the three story paddle-pop-stick doll’s house that they made with their stupid daughter, then don’t show them a photo of the steak you made for your ugly family last week that was really evenly cooked.
  • Every now and then, do something that you are proud of and lock it away. Tell no one. Like throwing a candle into a curtain factory, the flame of pride will last longer. Like for example, learning to sing ac-cent-tchu-ate the positive really well. Keep it in your pocket, walk around with the knowledge that not only did you learn all the words and how to sing and snap your fingers at the same time, but the people you walk past in the street will have no idea of the talents that dwell just below your surface.

But I don’t want to put you off, dear reader. Feeling pride is OK. You did good, you’re allowed to feel good, and you’re allowed to want to share that. And in moderation, you may even dare to desire that someone you love is proud of you. But remember you’re asking something of them. Ask too often and you’re being a leech. Ask when they have no reason to be generous and you’ll get smacked down.

End of words.

I only exist while you're reading my posts.

I only exist while you're reading my posts.