I had a birthday recently and I’ve only just realised that it’s my first one where I didn’t get any presents. That’s pretty good. I got $100, or $50 maybe from Mum and Dad. I said I would buy a thermometer. I did a lot of research yesterday on thermometers, what the different features are, reviews, both long and short-term, narrowed it down to a short list, worked out which ones could actually be bought in my country, then realised I don’t really care what the temperature is.

Today I saw the biggest sack of carrots I’ve ever seen in my life. It was the size of a pillowcase, made out of plastic so they were on display for the whole world to see. The dude with the sack looked shady af, too. I think he must be making rabbits for the black market, perhaps even the leader of an underground rabbit ring.

I suspect he started out with just a handful of rabbit seeds and some lamps to keep them warm. Then one rabbit beget another, and it beget another, and before he knew it he was knee deep in bunnies and was going through carrots like a man possessed. He began to worry that the fuzz would be on to him if he kept buying out all the carrots at the local carrot shop, so he had to, oh I don’t know, set up a soup restaurant as a front just for all the carrots he was buying.

To be clear, by ‘fuzz’ I meant the police, not fuzzy rabbits.

Anyway, he could barely lift this bag, I only saw his final movements as he got to the lift, swinging the bag between his legs in an awful back-breaking motion. He was sweating like a good sort, maybe it was the nerves, maybe it was the 45kg of orange goods.

He pressed the down button — which was suspicious since who goes from one car park level down to another car park level?

I pressed the up button. Now I would feel guilty if the lift came and it was going up, because he was first. It was taking ages and I got distracted by something and wandered away, then I heard the lift go ding. I wandered back just to see the lift doors close, it was going up. I had stolen his lift and not even got in it.

I pressed the up button again and felt his eyes on me. If I took his lift a second time it was lights out for your’s truly, not a doubt in my mind. Can rabbits be trained to kill? He could get some when they’re really small (like, just embryos) and smoosh some under my door, then they would find a place to hide while they finish growing up. Then, one night they would reach killing age and pop out from their hiding place behind the washing machine and tear me to shreds in my sleep with their little white mouth-daggers.

Anyhoo, I pressed the lift button again and walked away. He must have been so mad and confused as to what I was even doing, pressing lift buttons then walking away, but he has lots of rabbits so I think his life is pretty good and he shouldn’t be complaining and getting upset about lifts.

I was walking along the foreshore today and saw a little pink shoe. You could view a life-size photo of it on a phone, such was the size of the thing. And I felt sad for the child who had lost this shoe, then pity for the parent if money was tight and having to by shoes was a big deal for them, and then grateful that I don’t have such money problems.

Then I felt all weird and gross because who the fuck is this person feeling compassion and gratitude? So I dressed up in a suit and went to a retirement village and told a whole bunch of dementia folk that their children had died and that impostors would likely come and claim to be them.

I made a poster and have stuck it up on telegraph poles.

No this does not make any sense

My house smells like vomit. So much vomit. Poor little kitty.

Interesting weather today. At one point the rain was coming towards me, but it wasn’t raining yet. The rain looked white, and the sun was shining through it from behind.

It’s pretty and reminds me of Erica.

The making of “Monday, October 10”

Is car park one word, or two? I’ll google that. I found an article that did not get right to the point:

My first concern was for someone local as I live near Westfield Doncaster, but in this case it was Westfield Parramatta. How weird I thought.

http://australiandictionary.blogspot.com.au/2014/11/is-spelling-car-park-or-carpark.html

I only exist while you're reading my posts.