I went to yell at the inmates today, it was such a lovely day.

Near my house there’s a big ol’ prison that has what seems like a little too much fencing and barbed wire around it.

I mean, I get having, like, two layers of fencing, but this place has just a shit ton of it. Seems wasteful.

Anyway, there’s main road on three sides, but there’s a sort of grassy area no-man’s land that butts up against the back side, and I can get within eye-seeing-distance of the actual prisoners doing their thing, shaking rubble out of their pant legs while pretending to play basketball. Buying cigarette packets with agreements-of-amour, whatever prisoners do.

When it’s a nice day like today I like to go here and yell to them all the things I will be doing during the day. Like, “I’M GOING TO GO AND FEED THE DUCKS OVER THERE” and point towards the local duck congregation area or “I’M GOING TO HAVE CONSENSUAL SEX LATER THIS EVENING” or sometimes I’m just truthful and yell “I’M GOING TO MASTURBATE IN PRIVATE TO HD VIDEO”.

They shout back and and say things that are a little bit surprising and they do have a good point that one of these days their friends on the outside might be waiting in the bushes for me.

Despite their protestations, I think I’m doing good on these visits. I’m reminding them of what they’re missing. My message, really, is to hang in there, guys. Work hard, atone for your atrocities, and soon you’ll be on my side of the fence, yelling at people where you used to be.

Then we can both go and feed the ducks together. But not the other two things.

I only exist while you're reading my posts.

I only exist while you're reading my posts.