Keys: found

Option 1: fuck ‘em

I could just leave the keys in the mailbox, it’s not my problem. If I never involved myself I am not part of whatever happens next (what no one seems to take into account when addressing the trolley problem — I will feel less attached to the outcome if I just turn around and don’t even watch the trolley turn those five people into creamed corn).

Option 2: get vocal

“HEEEEEY SOMEBODY YOU LEFT YOUR KEYS HERE ARE YOU STILL WITHIN EAR SHOT??!!”

Option 3: hide

I could just put the keys inside the letterbox and close the little door. They wouldn’t be locked in, so the rightful owner could still get them back, but they would be less visible, so less likely to be stolen by one of the degenerates walking past. This was a solid option, it allowed me to rule out option 1 and I’d already done number 2.

Option 4: seek

I knew the apartment number of the key owners, since it was conveniently written on the letter box door that the keys were dangling out of. So why not go up to their apartment and hand them over. The person who left the keys in the mailbox must have been on their way out since otherwise they would have already been missing their keys. But perhaps they had a life partner of some sort still at home.

Option 5: slide them under the door

I had realised in the last 7 minutes that, in the wrong hands, a set of keys could also quite readily be copied at the locksmith just up the road. An entrepreneurial ruffian that found these keys in a numbered letterbox could quite easily proceed to empty out this person’s apartment whenever they felt the time was right.

Officer McCauley moments earlier: “why do they call it the surprise tram?”
No man was involved in the making of this, Hydrangea/chrome-candle-ball/box-of-something/candle-jar display
Only a man could work out how to do this

Bonus: the making of “Keys: found”

The internet is amazing, I googled for what I wanted and the internet was like “sure, here’s some things that reflect what it’s like to be slapped with a Saab key”.

The first result has nothing on the coffee table. Well played, computer.
That first result appears to have a scene from Legally Blonde playing on the TV. So I went with the submarine which just happened to be particularly funny I think.

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Alex Uninvolved

Alex Uninvolved

I only exist while you're reading my posts.