I like your suggestion, but am concerned about the effects in the long term. So, I meet with pretty Karen and she picks my brain and I picture her as The Rock and treat her right. No touchy touchy, no masturbating at all.

But here’s the problem. I have an pretty good imagination and I worry that I once I’ve pictured Karen as The Rock, and really let it sink in, I won’t be able to un-picture it.

So now it’s several years later and it’s our wedding night and it’s time to ‘get to know each other’ (if you catch my drift). I lower her down into a chair (or however it works) and all I can see is Dwayne’s Big Browns staring back at me, his eyelashes violently beating the air between us, and all I can think about is how he could probably kill me with that chair if he wanted to.


I only exist while you're reading my posts.

Love podcasts or audiobooks? Learn on the go with our new app.

Get the Medium app

A button that says 'Download on the App Store', and if clicked it will lead you to the iOS App store
A button that says 'Get it on, Google Play', and if clicked it will lead you to the Google Play store