Electricity
I have a new rule in my house: no electricity after 9pm.
I read an article that said winding down before bedtime would help me get to sleep better. It wasn’t specifically about me, though.
So I thought I’d give it a go; new rules for 9pm.
- Scream “LIGHTS OUT”
- Scream “YOU shut the fuck up” at the nosy neighbours and bang the wall with open palms
- Turn all my lights off (I have one bedroom, one lounge room, one bathroom, and ten light switches)
- Computer off
- Phone in the microwave
- Pacemaker set to sleep
- Get candles
- Fuck it
- Lights on
- Now get candles
- Find matches (fool me once…)
- Lights off
- Shit
- Lights on
- Light the candle
- Lights off
And you know what, now I’ve got the routine polished, it’s actually quite nice sitting down reading a book with a candle flickering by my side. I have indeed found that sleep comes more quickly when I head off to bed.
I’ve learnt some other things too:
- My fridge is fucking loud
- My clock’s second hand was maracas in a previous life
- Fish tanks have heaps of water in them
- I live above a train station
- The flicker of a candle is both soothing and a little bit seizure inducing (seizures are not soothing)
- Brushing my teeth in the dark is surprisingly difficult. (I should have learnt from my ‘no mirrors’ rule a few years back.) I have no idea how I got toothpaste up my nose. I think I just got the angle wrong and pulled out a bit too far and when I went for the inward stroke it slipped out, went north and, well fuck, if you’ve never inserted toothpaste into your nose with bristles on a stick then you haven’t lived. Anyway, I have moved tooth brushing to before lights out.