The saddest thing that has even been seen was seen this morning.

Remember my wheelchair-bound friend? I’ve seen him a handful of times over the past few weeks, but without the bird.

I noticed this because I wanted to take a photo just to check that other people can see the wheel/man/bird combo too.

Also a big green bird on someone’s shoulder is the sort of thing you notice when missing.

Anyway, brace yourself:

Polly, happier times.

So, a couple of things. In Microsoft Word, you can press ctrl+e to centre a line, that would have put Polly in the middle of the page, where he belongs.

Although, better left aligned than right, political joke.

Also, I saw a parrot yesterday that looked exactly like this one — same cheeky smile and willingness to ‘give it a go’. I picked it up and turned it over to check the model number. Alas, it was an Eclectus parrot, not the famously difficult-to-pronounce Ecelctus parrot, so I put it back under the parked teak furniture van where I found it.

(It was a van for delivering teak furniture that was parked, not a teak van for delivering furniture that is parked.)

I can’t help but wonder if he was crying when he typed this up? Poking away at the keyboard with his tear-soaked chin (did I mention he doesn’t have hands?). There’s something about that “please contact me” line that kills me.

There’s a restrained angst in those three little words.

Like, he wanted to put a second ‘please’ but instead opted to keep things professional. Perhaps he did type the imploring second please before reconsidering, and holding his chin down on the backspace key for a bit but then it went too far and took out half of the first please so he had to type ase again to get back to just one please.

When you lose a loved one, everywhere you look you notice little things that remind you of them. So I imagine it has to be particularly dreadful to lose a green and red bird right before Christmas.

Anyway, seriously, the poor dude. This is his buddy, and now his buddy is gone. If it was winter, maybe I’d have hope that Polly had just flown north for a short stay somewhere. But in summer? That bird’s gone.

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